Surgery

Today was an interesting, unexpected and fairly painful day. Turns out I underestimated how painful this operation is.

Woke up at 5:50am after a pretty good sleep. If I knew what I know now, I wouldn't have slept quite so soundly. Michele's parents came over at 6 am and her father gave me a blessing to help me through the surgery. His words were beyond comforting and I really felt protected and watched over. I was so glad I had that blessing because I wouldn't have been able to walk in the front door of the surgicenter, but would have entered on a gurney. I'm beyond weak-kneed and I'll faint any sign of pain, blood, needles or hospitals. The title of this blog becomes more relevant, huh? Even the blood pressure monitor makes me faint. I hate that thing. Little did I know that I had NO idea what I was in for. Look at that naive smile!

We got off to a late start and ended up leaving around 6 am. I drove my LR3 with Michele at my side. We had plenty of idle chit-chat with the majority of the banter being me whining about how bad this is going to be. I'm sure Michele wanted to punch me in the face for all the whining and crying I've been doing since the accident. If she had a dime for every time I said, "Oh my knee or my knee really hurts", she'd be a rich woman. To the dismay of all those around me, I prefer to vocalize my discomfort and pain as a way to cope. We arrived and amazingly enough I was able to walk into the surgicenter unassisted and even managed to have plenty of playful banter with the receptionist while filing out the paperwork. We went over all the legal mumbo-jumbo and then got to a few items that made me start to sweat.

The first item was some paperwork concerning my living trust. Living trust's are talked about only when you talk about dying. Am I going to die today? The form was asking if I had a living will in case I died on the operating table that very day. It caused me to pause and reflect if this operation was really worth the risk. I don't want to leave my family now. My mind flashed back to hugging the kids and getting a big kiss from Andrew this morning and I actually thought about postponing the operation. I then remembered the words in my blessing and I immediately became calm and peaceful.

The second item was the out of pocket bill I was required to pay before the surgery. My deductible is fairly high and it turns out I just hit my deductible limit and then some. In hindsight, that was one EXPENSIVE lift ticket that was bought last month. Ouch. After paying the bill I had to wait for the nurse to call for me. Every time anyone opened the door my heart started to race. Finally the nurse called for me while I was taking this picture in the lobby.

I changed into my surgery gown and tried to get comfortable on the bed. The pre-op room was the temperature of a large refrigerator. I had to ask for socks to go on my feet because they were frozen. The nurse was great as she let me know exactly what she was doing and how bad it would hurt. Turns out nothing hurt. She was a magician inserting the IV. Sign her up for Vegas. I can't believe how easy it was and how little it hurt. Amazing. Once the IV was started, Michele came in to comfort me. I tried to act tough but she saw right through me. We took some pictures and I waited for Dr. Kim to see me. He came in about 8:45am and asked me how I was feeling and

he marked up my left knee and explained what would happen. He also asked about my ice machine and my knee machine. I told him that both items would be coming to my house that evening. Turns out that I need the ice machine immediately after surgery. Dr. Kim made some phone calls and procured me an ice machine that I could bring home.

After some more pictures and saying goodbye, the nurse administered the first dose of anesthesia in my IV. I haven't been put under since I was a kid when I had my wisdom teeth removed. I don't remember what it felt like going to sleep. I had this great plan to really observe and be aware of exactly how it feels like to go under. The doctor told me that it takes about 10 seconds from injection to being out cold. I was skeptical because I couldn't imagine it working so fast. I turned to the nurse and asked her how fast the anesthesia would take effect. I never heard the answer.

The next memory I had was the blurry fog of anesthesia and waking up in post-op or rather fighting to wake up and make sense of what was happening to me. I didn't dream a thing while I was out. I was stone cold out. It was so weird waking up expecting an answer to my previous question uttered hours ago, "How long until the anesthesia starts to work?" I finally figured out in roughly a nanosecond that I was waking up AFTER the operation because the pain in my left knee was excruciating. I must have been driving the nurse nuts by saying that my knee hurts. She would ask me to rate the pain from 0-10. At the time it felt like she was asking me to do calculus equations by rating my pain. All I knew was that my knee hurt. Duh! Just shoot me and get it over with. Though I don't remember a lot of what happened during the hour and half of trying to wake up, apparently I told her it was an 18 on the pain scale and she loaded me up with all the goodies. I was flying like a kite at the beach. I can relate to drug addicts who get hooked on prescription meds because you just feel so good! (I don't condone drug addiction all you who think I'm a druggie now. I just understand the appeal.) The side effect of all the pain meds is nausea which I experienced a little later in massive doses. There's always opposition to flying high as a kite.

Michele was there to welcome me back. It took me about 10 tries to just get to where I could sit up without fainting or throwing up. I spent roughly an hour trying to get into the wheelchair. Finally I got in the chair and I was wheeled out to the car. Getting me and my new knee into the car was very painful. Any movement at all sent a flame of fire into my knee. Once I got in the car, I decided it was time to get sick and get serious about do some old fashion dry heaving. The nurse told me that nausea was a side effect of the meds and that I would throw up at least once. The car was pretty hot because it was a beautiful day outside. The AC didn't quite work quick enough and I grabbed the pink pan and started up the dry heaving. Throwing up once was not accurate at all. Many times is more like it. I didn't have anything in my stomach but that didn't stop me from trying to heave. After the good abdominal workout I felt like I could go home without too many problems. I did have a wet and cold wash cloth that turned out to be a wonderful friend and a life saver on the ride home. I can't express how good it felt to have that cold water on my forehead and face.

We arrived home and I hobbled into the house and made Camp Chad on the couch in the family family. I had my ice machine hooked up that has a blue tube to an ice chest that continuously pumps ice water to my knee. I have my leg in the CPM as shown. I got some liquids and some food and all the remotes to the TV, DVR, DVD and Tivo and I was ready for my rehab to start. About an hour after I got home, Team McKenna's rep came by the house to deliver the CPM (aka the knee bender). I had heard that the knee bender was a modern-day torture device. I quickly found out that it is an amazing device that gives your knee relief while extending your range of motion. The rep hooked me up to the CPM and the machine was bending my knee to 30 degrees immediately. Again I was surprised at just how much I liked this machine. The goal is to get the knee to bend to 110 degrees within 21 days. What's nice about this thing is that I can leave on my ice machine to cool my knee to a nice 43 degrees while it bends my knee for me.

I got stoked up on some light food and gatorade and pounded some pain pills and got comfortable for the night. I watched my Anaheim Ducks lose to the Calgary Flames. The Ducks are toast. There's no way they're going to the playoffs. I mistakenly thought I could get some sleep in my real bed and around midnight I decided that I could go upstairs and flop in bed. Monster mistake. For anyone getting this operation, don't even think about sleeping in your bed for a while.

Sorry but it's time for bathroom talk. Going to the bathroom is really rough. Your knee hurts so much you can't really bend it and moving around at all is terribly painful. Envision the crutches used for positioning with a throbbing knee wrapped in a huge knee ice brace with awkwardly trying to get to the toilet seat and you have me on my first day of post-op. It is terrible. I only go to the bathroom if my back teeth are floating and the clothes pin just won't hold any longer and I'm about to burst.

So after getting ready to go to sleep I stumbled into bed without crying too much. It's a killer to get that leg up and in the sheets. I slept surprisingly well for about 4 hours when I woke up in sheer terror. My knee felt like it was hobbled. Remember in the movie "Misery" when Kathy Bates hobbles the poor  book author while tied to a bed. That was how I envisioned my knee was. Obviously the pain medicine had worn off and I didn't have ice on it and the full pain of this major operation hit me with full force. I wiggled out of bed and tried to get dressed. While struggling to get positioned to go to the bathroom with crutches all over the place, Michele came in to see if I needed help. She must have been surprised to see me half dressed flopping around the bathroom. Marriage - for better or worse honey, right? Well she got the worse part of the deal last night. She helped me get downstairs and filled my ice machine and get me comfortable - at 4 am. She's been a real trooper and I love her more each day, especially during this ordeal. She must love me or she would have turned around and went to bed and left me on the bathroom floor at 4 am.