Thursday, April 1, 2010

Post-Op Day 10: CLB - Chicken Leg Brigade

I'm very proud that I'm at 110 degrees ROM. This is something that was unthinkable last week. I can't just jump on the CPM and do 110 degrees cold turkey. I takes me a few minutes to get the knee going. But I've done all I can with the CPM. I'm still cracking on this beast all day today to get the knee good and loose.

Yesterday afternoon was the official start of spring break for our schools. I decided that since I'm down for the count and everyone else is going on vacations and doing other entertaining activities, that we'd do a movie marathon of Star Wars - shown above pictured with the CPM. I knew that Andrew would be so excited. We watched the first show and Andrew watched the whole movie with a death grip on his "light saber" he got from Disneyland a while ago. After the movie was over, Andrew jumped up and displayed his Jedi knight moves. In his excitement, he used his sweet movies and light sabered Snowball the dog. It was hilarious.

I was just outside for about 30 minutes away from my beloved ice machine eating a sandwich and getting some sun. Idle time is never truly idle. During the sun bath, I was working my knee doing extensions and sadly noticed the state of my left leg. The only way to describe my left leg is that of a meth addict (bruises) that hasn't had any physical activity in 15 years. The skinniness of the leg is alarming. I didn't realize how fast the muscle tissue simply dissolves.

My mind was transported back to a simpler but not necessarily happier time when I was a kid. I knew I was skinny, but I thought that because I was so good at sports it would make up for it with the ladies. Couple my athletic abilities with a nice deep brown tan that I picked up every year while playing a million hours of tennis and I was a ladies man, at least on paper. 

One day I was at my best friend's (even still today) house and I met his girlfriend who was later labeled the "Psycho". We'll call her Kristi for legal purposes. Kristi was really cute. I was wearing my favorite baby blue "OP" (Ocean Pacific) shorts and my latest tennis tournament shirt that I loved to wear to make sure people knew I was a player - ala Bjorn Borg. The first thing that Kristi said to me, and I mean the first utterance was, "Hey peanut-butter stick legs!" I was blown away by such boldness and lack of common courtesy but was equally shocked at the outright audacity to criticize my perfectly sculpted legs. What made matters worse is that she was cute and that she called my peanut-butter stick legs all day. She never once used my real name. 

This Kristi, however crass and brutal, opened my eyes that day. Perchance my legs weren't the ideal manly legs I always thought they were. After further research it was confirmed that people, all people, thought my legs were pretty much abnormally skinny. Ouch... Seeing my skinny left leg brought back memories of looking down and saying to myself, "Good heavens... you've got sticks for legs." 

In more recent memory, the mid 90s, I was a co-founder of a certain secret society aptly named the CLB - Chicken Leg Brigade. The CLB was founded upon one obvious and specific theme which was to celebrate and promote skinny legs. The CLB had the original 4 founding members, Don Debate, Ted Davis, Jonathan Cook and myself. The organization was organized while we all were playing golf one day and Don Debate observed that all four of us had exceptionally skinny legs, almost chicken like. After a few failed attempts to properly label our group, Don came up with CLB. Our Lindon, Utah home proudly has CLB 98' written into the cement on our driveway.

So all ye of skinny thighs, calfs and legs unite under the shelter of CLB. Come and bask in our warmth. You shall find comfort, guidance and support for your chicken legs. I'll always be a proud card-carrying member of the CLB. Currently now with my ACL surgery, I'm the mascot, the eye candy, for the CLB movement. Viva CLB!!!!

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